The surprise of the week - Not!

I’ve had a couple of surprises over the past couple of days. First an old friend of mine who lives in Ohio sent me an email asking what I thought about the, uh, passionate public relations work John Edwards was doing on the side while he was standing by his wife like a moral paragon after she was diagnosed with cancer. Then two other friends asked why I haven’t written on this blog about the little package that apparently resulted from the extended game of “Squire and Milkmaid” that John and his PR honey were role playing to get their creative juices flowing, so to speak, when they were working on videos for his Presidential campaign.

My biggest surprise was learning that there are actually two people who read this blog. My second biggest surprise was learning that anyone was surprised that John Edwards was hypocritical enough to be privately conducting relations with his blonde public relations specialist while he was publicly professing everlasting devotion to his brunette marital relations specialist.

You see I think almost all politicians , and almost all other people who organize their lives around seeking power over other people, are users. I think being a user is practically a qualification for attaining power over other people. And I grew up hearing my Aunt Mary R periodically refer to politicians as whoremasters. So I’m hard to surprise about the result when men attain enough power to think they can keep it secret when they, uh, gather a few rosebuds while they may.

When the historians and geneticists revealed that Thomas Jefferson was playing “Who’s wearing the shackles now Massa” for a long time with Sally Hemings I wasn’t surprised. When I learned that Franklin Roosevelt was playing “Warm up the springs” with his secretary when he was supposed to be soaking in the warm springs I wasn’t surprised. When I learned that Dwight Eisenhower was playing “Bend over Beethoven, here comes the bratwurst” with his aide while he was planning the defeat of Nazi Germany I wasn’t surprised. And when I learned that Bill Clinton was playing “Moisten the cigar” with an intern in the Oval Office I wasn’t surprised about anything except the fact that Monica Lewinsky (Monica Lewinsky?) could get him excited enough to put a stain on her dress while he was talking to Yasser Arafat (Yasser Arafat!) on the phone.

So I’m certainly not surprised that John Edwards was playing “Sock it to you baby” with his PR gal while he was making a big show of loyalty to his wife and working on a plan to sock it to all of us by becoming President.

What did surprise me about the Edwards thing is that he’s only been paying her $15,000 a month to keep quiet despite the fact that he’s worth tens of millions from his years of suing and harassing and ruining honest doctors for providing the best care that medical science knew how to provide to mothers and infants. That $15,000 a month number surprised me because last year when he was still in the running for President and she was pregnant with expectation of their love child she could have presented him to the media trussed up over a barrel wearing only wingtip shoes and knee length black socks and she could have freshly paddled his scrawny ass cheeks so they would have a nice rosy glow in the pictures.

I can only conclude that she’s a poor negotiator.

Update - If you can't picture who John Edwards is you may want to go to this link, but only if you have a strong stomach - What a maroon! - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2AE847UXu3Q